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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29542164">A future</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonowl/pseuds/themoonowl'>themoonowl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Real Hero [32]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anger, Anger Management, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fight Club - Freeform, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Love Letters, M/M, Mass Effect 3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:27:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29542164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonowl/pseuds/themoonowl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Samed deals with his bottled up anger. Realizes that there's a better way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard, Male Shepard &amp; Garrus Vakarian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Real Hero [32]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1429021</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A future</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His eyelashes fluttered while he slept.</p>
<p>His chest rose and sank slowly, a ghost of a smile on his lips—hopefully he was dreaming about something good. A hair or two stuck out grey among all the black, more grey than when this war had started. But even that worked in his favor.</p>
<p>God. He was so beautiful.</p>
<p>Sadly, the dull pain in Samed's shoulder became a sharp sting, forcing him to turn to the other side, to the boring, static view of the drawer. But all was not lost: a strong arm wrapped around his waist and dry lips pressed on the back of his neck, turning to a steady breath that gently caressed his skin.</p>
<p>It was almost perfect: his muscles finally relaxed in Kaidan's warm embrace, his eyes slowly closed, drifting to sleep…</p>
<p>When his heart began to beat loudly in his ears again.</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> This feels wrong, </em> Samed thought, his heartbeat loud in his ears as he rode the elevator down in the dead of night.</p>
<p>But it was the only way.</p>
<p>It opened to Garrus standing under the dim lights of the cargo hold, bandaging his three-finger knuckles, making Samed's stomach sink with memories from more than a year ago.</p>
<p>It was the only way.</p>
<p>A crack or two of his neck and some quick stretches, and Samed ran towards Garrus, that familiar icy cold thud as he hit the floor in response almost making it all better. Almost.</p>
<p>It was the only way.</p>
<p>
  <em> He smashes through Cerberus-issue helmet, fist glowing omni-tool orange, stopped only by a pull on his shoulders. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> "Hey. Hey! Enough! Phantom's dead." </em>
</p>
<p>It was the only way.</p>
<p>
  <em> His palms tight on the controls, he smashes Brutes and stomps Husks coming his way. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Steve tells him he needs to go into the deep, talk to Leviathan itself, and he feels no fear. Only— </em>
</p>
<p>Another icy cold thud on the ground took Samed away from his thoughts. Pain shot through his shoulder, a bad fall. It didn't matter. He dusted himself off and dodged Garrus's fist.</p>
<p>It was the only way.</p>
<p>
  <em> "He's freezing!" he hears like it's said somewhere in the distance, on another plane of existence. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The fear finally sets in. He forces a breath, then another, and another, head throbbing, muscles aching— </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> "Never do that again." Kaidan’s eyes looking down at him, scared, worried, worried for him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I'm sorry. </em>
</p>
<p>Perhaps it wasn't the only way.</p>
<p>He glanced at Garrus between heaving breaths. What if Kaidan walked in at that moment? Saw two men fighting, beating the crap out of their inner demons? Two men, one of whom was his boyfriend, a boyfriend he'd been worried over sick for the past two weeks? A boyfriend that barely stood now, a black eye and a giant bruise on his shoulder.</p>
<p>Guilt shot through Samed's chest at the thought, a very familiar guilt, the same guilt he felt just before his last relationship shattered into a thousand pieces in front of him.</p>
<p>It may have been the only way when the Normandy was a Cerberus ship, when he was lonely, hopeless and angry, when he thought the man he might have loved, the man he did love, hated his guts.</p>
<p>It wasn't the only way now.</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No, Samed couldn’t wake him up. He slept too peacefully, and. He would see the bruises on his body and worry again; adding yet another greying hair on his head. No, he needed the sleep, needed to rest, for once.</p>
<p>So Samed turned onto his back, gaze fixed on the moving stars.</p>
<p>A picture flashed before his eyes, that drawing of Kaidan sitting on the window in Starboard Observation, book in hand, a starry backdrop. A drawing he had seen come into life, even if he'd drawn it in one of the lowest moments of his life, then stashed it away, a good luck charm, a secret defiance in the face of misery.</p>
<p>He had a much better good luck charm now. One who actually had his back out there in the battlefield.</p>
<p>Samed carefully got up and quietly opened the drawer, fishing the piece of paper out of his armor's inner padding. He unfolded it. Though it looked a little worse for wear, it was all still there: Kaidan, his book, the starry backdrop. Samed walked up to his desk for a pencil and a pen, and came back to bed, propping a pillow up and putting the drawing on a datapad he found on the nightstand.</p>
<p>Pencil stroke after pencil stroke, he added a small addition to it and drew over it again with a pen, making it permanent. He folded it up and placed it on Kaidan's nightstand, covering it with a datapad on which he wrote:</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p><em> For you, </em>the datapad said. Kaidan clicked on the message.</p>
<p>
  <em> Kaidan. You have been a light in my life for the past several months. These have been difficult times, but no matter what happens, I love you, and I'm sorry I've made life hard for you for the last two weeks. Ever since the defeat on Thessia, I've been angry: at Kai Leng, at Cerberus, at the Reapers, at myself. And though I've been taking that anger out on Cerberus troops, last night I took it out on me. It's something me and Garrus started doing when we were with Cerberus: sparring sessions in the dead of night, supposed to help us work through whatever we're going through at the moment. </em>
</p>
<p>Kaidan's eyes went wide. He continued reading:</p>
<p>
  <em> But back then, I was alone and angry, my every move watched as I was kept in invisible chains. I was miserable. But now I'm not. Nor am I alone anymore. I have you. I love you. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> P.S. Check your nightstand again, there's a gift I've been meaning to give you for some time now. </em>
</p>
<p>Kaidan turned. A folded piece of paper stood where the datapad was a minute ago. For a moment his sleepy brain thought Samed was still in the room and placed the paper there when he wasn't looking. He quickly shook that thought away. But before he unfolded it—</p>
<p><em> SPARRING? </em> In the middle of the night?</p>
<p>Kaidan's heart sank to his stomach. Okay, at least it was in a safe, controlled environment. With Garrus. Garrus wouldn't kill him. Significantly injure him, turian bodies were tough, but. They'd be safe. Right?</p>
<p>
  <em> What the hell, Samed? </em>
</p>
<p>He put the piece of paper back on the nightstand and picked up the datapad again. Re-read the last words. His body began to relax a little.</p>
<p>But it all came back when the door opened to his special guy with a giant nasty dark bruise on his face. And. He smiled at him. He <em> smiled, </em>like nothing had happened. Like he didn't get his ass kicked by Garrus last night, like—</p>
<p>
  <em> I was alone and angry. Miserable. </em>
</p>
<p>Kaidan frowned, bolted out of bed and strode to where Samed stood, pulling him in a big, long hug.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Samed whispered in his ear.</p>
<p>"It's okay. I'm just glad you're okay." He forced a chuckle. "At least it's just you and Garrus. Lot better than seeing you lose it out there on the battlefield."</p>
<p>Samed chuckled too and hugged him even tighter. "I love you so much."</p>
<p>"Love you too. And hey, wait, I needed to see that gift too." Kaidan walked back to the nightstand and picked it up. "What is it?"</p>
<p>"Uh. Just something I kept as a good luck charm."</p>
<p>Kaidan took the piece of paper in his hand and began to unfold it.</p>
<p>It was a drawing. Of him and Samed. They were in Starboard Observation, he was reading a book, and Samed stood next to him, two cups in his hands, holding one of them over for him.</p>
<p>"Wait.<em> You </em> drew this?" Kaidan lifted his gaze to Samed looking almost the same as in the picture: two cups of coffee in his hands, placing one of them on the coffee table by the model ships.</p>
<p>"Yeah." He scratched the back of his neck and—god, Kaidan couldn't stop looking at that bruise. "I made it after seeing you on Horizon, back when I was still with Cerberus. But I added a small addition to it last night."</p>
<p><em>Back on Horizon.</em> "After that Collector attack?"</p>
<p>Samed nodded.</p>
<p>Kaidan looked at the drawing again. He knew what that "addition" was by the lines—it was Samed himself, holding those two cups. He smiled at the picture, a smile that turned into a big grin and even laughter. "I love it." He pressed the paper to his chest. "And you kept this as a good luck charm? Where?"</p>
<p>Samed pointed a thumb over to the drawer. "My armor. But." He walked over, gently pressing both palms on his cheeks, and continued, "You're my lucky charm now."</p>
<p>Kaidan closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Samed's.</p>
<p>
  <em> Back on Horizon. Iera. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> That’s it. </em>
</p>
<p>Kaidan sharply inhaled. "That’s it! I know where Kai Leng is."</p>
<p>"Wait. What? How?"</p>
<p>"Sam tracked his signal to Iera, right?" He pointed to Samed's drawing. "Horizon's there. The Collector attack, Cerberus. It all makes sense!"</p>
<p>"Horizon?" Samed's eyes went wide. "Kaidan. We have a lead. God, an actual lead."</p>
<p>"Yeah." Kaidan chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "We do." He pulled his guy in the tightest hug he could muster and whispered, "Told you, told you you're not doing this alone."</p>
<p>Samed exhaled a shiver in his voice and chuckled too. "You really are the best. I love you."</p>
<p>"I love you too. Now come on, we're getting a big breakfast, that bruise checked out, and setting a course for Horizon."</p>
<p>"Aye aye, Spectre Alenko."</p>
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